Huaisang isn't thrilled about having to come to the Down. So dirty! So ugly! What if he gets mud on his robes??
But he needs to be here for his friend, and after Xue Yang all but outed him on the network--or, at least, brought the situation to a point where Huaisang felt that he needed to interfere for all their sakes--he's obligated to offer a certain amount of honesty.
So he turns up at his friend's apartment, trying not to grimace too much at the overall situation. "I'll contract you, Wei-xiong. This is awful." This wasn't the topic at hand, but Huaisang's encountered higher priorities along the way. "Do you even have alcohol?" Please have alcohol. He wants alcohol.
The apartment isn't the cleanest, but it's also not a mess. Wuxian has an apartment to himself for now, if only because no roommate has been assigned to him as of yet. The bed that such a person would occupy currently holds trinkets Wuxian has picked up from the market -- a lot of them claim to have magical powers. While he knows most are scams, he doesn't yet know enough about this world to assume none of them have promise.
"And I do have alcohol."
Turning around, he reaches beside the bed and pulls out a bottle.
"Ahhh... I usually just drink from the bottle, but we can still share."
They'd kissed, after all. Too late for modesty now.
Huaisang takes a swig without hesitation. It's not as good as what he's been drinking in the Up, but it didn't occur to him to bring a gift, since he'd come straight here. He'll remedy that on future visits.
Sitting on the end of the bed, Huaisang pouts up at his friend. "Wei-xiong, he was the first person I encountered in this place. I didn't know anyone else was here. I was so frightened. Of him, of this place."
He drinks again. Hugs the bottle to his chest. "He persuaded me to go back to his apartment. I knew it was stupid. I berated myself the whole way there. But I was lonely and he is... very handsome."
A shy, sweet smile appears on Huaisang's lips. "He was so gentle with me, Wei-xiong. He was sweet and generous. I started off terrified." He shakes his head and shudders. "I haven't forgotten what we saw in that courtyard. I know... I know I didn't see the worst of it. The rest of you protected me from it. I can only imagine."
Offering the bottle, Huaisang sucks nervously on his lower lip. "I know how dangerous he is. But yes, I will vouch for him, at least on this point. When he wants to be, he is a very generous lover."
"What are we talking about if not me having sex with Xue Yang?" Huaisang asks, then blushes and ducks his head because of how it sounds. "Wei-xiong."
He's embarrassed because he thought this conversation would go differently--he's not sure how he expected it to go--and now he's not sure how to explain himself or what he wants. Keeping his eyes shyly lowered, he plays with the strands of hair that fall beside his face. "I want to see him again. He made me feel... special. Precious."
Letting his hands drop, Wuxian steps back, a frown on his face. Xue Yang is dangerous. It's impossible for him to forget the clan that had fallen at the man's feet. What happens if Huaisang makes him angry? If they get into a fight?
What can he do? It's not as if he can make it stop, no matter how worried he might be about his friends. Huaisang knows Xue Yang is a mass murderer, and he's made the choice anyway.
Crossing his arms, Wuxian blows at a strand of hair hanging near his face.
"Wei-xiong." Huaisang's shoulders hunch forward, eyes lowered, because the only defense he can think of is likely to hurt. "You're my best friend, and you've scared me many times. I know I wasn't there at Nightless City, or at Burial Mounds, but if even a tenth of the things they say you did are true..."
Huaisang knows his friend. He knows how honorable and kind he can be, but he also knows how self-involved and harshly logical he can be. Most of the ridiculous reports Huaisang rejects out of hand. Others, he hesitates over. Some, he believes to be true.
"You're dangerous, but you're also loyal. I trust you. Sometimes..." Huaisang sighs and wrinkles his nose, finally looking up at his friend. "Sometimes I've gotta make friends with two of the scariest people in the cultivation world, I guess. I'll let him know that if he hurts me, the Yiling Patriarch is coming for him."
It's not a line of explanation he plans to hear. Wuxian knows he's made mistakes, but he also knows he rarely did the first strike. At least, not in the more serious fights. Xue Yang slaughtered so many innocents.
Does Huaisang really see them as the same? Wuxian has been able to shake off most of the negative opinions, even if he doesn't particularly like them. That said, to know his friend, once one of his closest, compared him to a man Wuxian finds to be without morals ((which is the only side Wuxian has ever seen)) is a shock.
He points to himself.
"Me? What did I scare you?"
wrote out a real answer and then huaisang was like OR we could never confront anything ever
Huaisang frowns, feeling guilty and apologetic. He curls into himself, wishing he hadn't started any of this. It would be better if he never said anything, never spoke to anyone, if he hadn't been tempted by Xue Yang, if he hadn't spoken up for Xue Yang. He just wants to wipe it all away.
Shaking his head, he gives Wuxian a weak smile. "It's nothing, Wei-xiong," he says, voice shaky. "I don't know what I'm talking about. You get a little intimidating sometimes, that all. It's not the same."
He rises, eyes lowered as he takes a step toward the door. Maybe Wuxian will just let him leave and Huaisang can somehow manage to erase all of this.
Wuxian considers Huaisang a kind person as well so he assumed Huaisang had understood why Wuxian had to go rogue, but if he really sees him like he sees Xue Yang, maybe he was wrong.
"If I didn't stand up to everyone else, they would have continued to hurt people who couldn't defend themselves. I only wanted to defend the people who deserved to be defended. I don't think you would have disagreed. You were never my enemy."
He doesn't believe Huaisang really changed his mind in that moment so much as he's wanting the topic to drop.
Huaisang does not want to be having this conversation. But he also fears that if he tries to placate too much, if he insists you're right, you're right, please forget it, he will lose the friendship. Wuxian needs to be able to trust him, and he won't if Huaisang outright lies to him in order to dismiss this conversation.
Drawing out his fan, Huaisang clenches his hands around it. He will not meet Wuxian's eyes. "You... killed thousands of cultivators at Nightless City. And the Wens in the Sunshot Campaign. I heard that you tortured Wen Chao to death. And his girlfriend. They say that at Nightless City, a teenager shot an arrow at you and you caught it and killed him with it. I know there are reasons for all those things. It's still terrifying."
"Should I have waited for their attack on me? Should I have let the arrow strike? Even when I wanted nothing more to be left alone, I wasn't allowed that. Do you think they would have stopped until I was dead?"
He regrets it came to that. He regrets the Wens had to die, that they couldn't have just finished their life in peace. If he could have gone back, no matter how excited he'd been to see his nephew, he would have sent his love to his sister instead. It isn't his fault he'd been ambushed, but that doesn't change the outcome. He'd lost everybody, everything he'd loved.
The Sunshot Campaign had been a war. The most respected of Cultivators were there, fighting alongside him.
As for Wen Chao, while it's true he needed to die, it's also true that revenge had been a huge motivator. After seeing his sect attacked and having them die, after seeing the man he considered a brother suffering so much, after losing his own Golden Core so that his brother could live again, after being grabbed and tortured while they laughed at him, after being forced to survive in a place no one had survived, Wuxian hated them.
Even after that, he protected the Wen sect members that were innocent. Xue Yang spared no one.
"You say you know I have my reasons, but that it's still terrifying."
This had been his fear when they had first met in the room, that Huiasang not understand. Most of the world didn't, most of them tried to paint him as a monster. When he'd greeted him normally, Wuxian assumed his fear was without reason. Maybe that's why he's arguing now: it had felt good to have someone else understand.
Huaisang clutches tight to his fan, brow furrowed with misery. This has all gone so poorly, and the balance between pacifying and honesty isn't working out for him. He keeps his mouth shut as he listens, throat bobbing and lips quivering with the threat of impending tears. "Wei-xiong," he says, weakly. He swallows heavily, licks his lips, tries again. "Wei-xiong, I'm trying to tell you how I feel. I don't want to debate with you. I know I'll lose. Please don't... please don't debate my feelings."
Sniffling once, Huaisang takes a shaky breath, trying valiantly to hold back tears. "This isn't about the reasons. I'm in no place to offer judgement or forgiveness for either of you. Being able to torture someone to death for whatever reason, however valid, is terrifying. If I..." He swallows again. Shaking badly, he just goes ahead and drops to his knees where he's standing, because he feels like he's going to collapse. He still will not meet his friend's eyes. "If I..." He knows he can't say this without revealing at least some of his hand. Wuxian comes from earlier. He's only just begun solving the puzzle. Huaisang would prefer to let him solve it himself, sot hat Huaisang can stay hidden in the shadows, but this place has already forced Huaisang into greater boldness. He's not going to put great effort into protecting the very secrets he wants Wuxian to discover. "If I had my brother's murderer in a cell of the Nie dungeons... yes. I think I would torture him to death. Perhaps over the course of years. That terrifies me, too. To know myself capable of such a thing."
Sighing, Wuxian drops to his knees and reaches out his hands to rest on Huaisang's shoulders. A lot of people hate him now. A lot of people fear him now. In the city, he got a second chance, but everybody who had mattered to him is now dead or holds some kind of negative feeling toward him, be it terror or rage. When he saved the Wens, he'd foolishly thought he'd eventually be allowed peace, but that was foolish optimism.
That's why Lan Zhan's feelings mean so much. He alone seems to understand the heart that was behind it all.
But Huaisang still speaks with him. That's more than some. Wuxian will need to absorb the blow and accept things as they are. Huaisang is afraid of him. Probably, he won't always be. Also, even more probable, he's probably not scared of him more than he is scared of him. He'd come to his apartment today.
The same is true for Xue Yang, Wuxian supposes, but he'd come here to explain because he doesn't want that relationship to interfere with their friendship. It's not as if he couldn't have said it wasn't any of his business and shrugged him off. If anything, Huaisang has more power in this city. Even now, while saying he's terrified, he seems more terrified of Wuxian not understanding.
Wuxian doesn't understand. Even now, he doesn't see himself the same way he sees Xue Yang. That said, he isn't going to hate his friend for that choice. Huaisang isn't going to encourage the man to murder.
While not missing the comment about his brother, Wuxian doesn't think now is the time to explore that line of questioning. Instead, he smiles.
"It's okay, it's okay. Come on, stand up. We both might have things to pray about, but our ancestors wouldn't want to hear from us from here."
Shifting his hold, Wuxian puts an arm around Huaisang's shoulders to help him up.
Huaisang lets himself be coaxed to his feet. He hugs his arms around Wuxian's waist once they're both up, tucking his head against his friend's shoulder. "Please don't be angry with me, Wei-xiong."
He still regrets the entire topic. For Huaisang, love and fear are not exclusive things, but he doesn't know how to explain that. He has never feared anyone more than Mingjue, especially as the leash on his brother's temper became more tenuous, but he has never loved anyone as fiercely.
His relationship with Wuxian is something else, something alike only to itself, and his relationship with Xue Yang also. It's too new for him to be certain of anything but that Xue Yang charmed him and showed him more than enough sweetness to ensure that Huaisang craved his company.
Likely, that's where their disconnect comes from. Wuxian isn't afraid of much, and when he is, it's because it will bring him pain he isn't sure how to handle. The dogs that chased him as a small child are seen as monsters who would tear him to bits, and losing the people he loves is a blow he recovers from slowly, if he recovers from at all. Even death was something he'd welcomed when it came.
Perhaps Yu Ziyuan counts in that he feared her, but he didn't hate her. However, he also knew she would hurt him given the chance. Not that he blames her for the whipping, but.
"What kind of decision would that be?"
Wuxian offers a pat on the back. He really didn't want to make Huasaing sad. Likewise, he knows his friend hadn't meant it as an attack when he admitted his fear. It's painful, but that hadn't been Huasaing's intention. That helps.
"I still question your taste in men, but I won't be angry as long as you don't let yourself be corrupted."
He won't. Wuxian believes in him which is why he's more worried for Huaisang than about Huaisang.
"Be sure to remind him that a mark or collar won't be enough to assure I get revenge if he does something wrong."
Submissive or no, rules are more like suggestions to Wuxian.
"I know. I think he knows but I'll warn him anyway." Huaisang lifts his head with a shy grin, hopeful that they're back on the same page again and that Wuxian really isn't angry at him. "Also you might have to be more specific about me being corrupted, because I'm already very kinky."
Kissing his friend's cheek, he pulls away. "Are you allowed in the Up if you're escorted? I'll take you for drinks."
"Don't call me Perverted Cultivator! Find a better word. Hedonist Cultivator. Libertine Cultivator. Refined and Experienced Cultivator of Exceptional Taste." Huaisang takes his hand, tugging at him. "Are you ready? Let's go. We can get a drink, then go shopping, then get more drinks, then go back to my place and make out."
They are here together, and it has been years since Huaisang has had the opportunity to have fun with his friend. He's not missing the opportunity now.
When Huaisang begins to pull, Wuxian goes along, his teasing and singsong voice coming out with a hint of a laughter undertone. It sounds like a fun day.
Though, at the end, Wuxian stops, his smile dropping.
"Wait."
He urges Huaisang to face him, his smile trying to soften what he says because Wuxian worries it will be taken as a punishment instead of a sincere desire to see his friend make the best decision.
"I had a lot of fun when we kissed." That's very true. Huaisang is an unfairly skilled kisser. "But we probably shouldn't do it against until you see there's nothing in me that you should be afraid of."
Reaching out, he strokes a hand through Huaisang's long, silky hair. It's not that he doesn't want to kiss him, but it's dangerous if his friend keeps kissing men that scare him. Beyond that, there's a small bit of Wuxian that wonders if Huaisang would feel comfortable pulling away or saying no if he didn't want to kiss. While he likes to think it's obvious he won't force anything on anyone, he also thought it was obvious he was different than Xue Yang.
"I can't tell you not to kiss him, but I want your kisses with me to not hold any fear at all."
Huaisang blinks as his Wuxian stops him. Looking up at his friend, Huaisang studies his eyes in confusion at first, then a fond smile as he continues.
"Wei-xiong," he murmurs, soft and teasing. "That's what I've been trying to say. I think you are a frightening and dangerous person, but I have never in my life been afraid of you. I trust you, and I don't believe you would ever hurt me, not even if you were very angry." Leaning in, Huaisang gives him a soft kiss. "I know he is also a frightening and dangerous person, and I was afraid of him at first because of that. I no longer fear him. If I quarrel with him or no longer wish to have a relationship with him, I'll be very careful, and I'll come to you for help if I feel afraid. But I do not think he will hurt me. I think he likes being sweet to people who are sweet to him. I feel safe with him."
Hugging his arms around Wuxian's neck, Huaisang presses close. "And I feel even safer with my best friend."
"Why am I the weird one when I have friends like this?"
Despite his words, there's a fondness in his voice. Maybe he doesn't understand completely, but it's good to know a man he considers a friend doesn't actually fear him.
Bending lower, Wuxian plants a quick kiss on Huaisang's lips. It's a bit fun to tease his friend.
"For putting me through so much, it's only fair if you buy the very good alcohol."
Reassured, Huaisang smiles back at him. He immediately nods agreement, glad that Wuxian accepts his words, even if they don't fully understand each other. "Of course. I'm gonna spoil you."
Letting go, Huaisang takes his hand again, weaving their fingers together as he heads for the door. His grip is tight. He's a little bit worried that Wuxian might pull away. He's already lost his friend once, and their conversation has left him a little bit rattled because he's worried that he's displeased Wuxian. "Any requests for where we go? We'll find a nice place in the Up. I haven't really found any good wine shops yet, though I did find a liquor store that sells liquor in glass bottles, the finest glass you've ever seen and thick as your thumb, in all different shapes and colors, and yet it's all cheap. It's just the cost of the liquor, and there are so many different kinds, we're going to have to try all of them."
A friendship that shatters after a single disagreement is no real friendship. They may have disagreed, but they'll likely disagree again. That doesn't change their feelings and concern for each other. Even mid 'fight', Wuxian would have defended Huasiang if danger had stuck.
"Have you been to a bar? It's a modern tavern. You can buy all a lot of different kinds of alcohol all in one place. I bet the bars in the up are even better."
"We're gonna find out." Huaisang grins, practically bouncing as they head to the elevator. He's restless as they wait for it, annoyed by the time it takes to arrive, but the other transportation options are slower. Pulling Wuxian inside, he finds a spot along the wall and pulls his friend close, putting Wuxian like a shield between him and the rest of the elevator. Then he nuzzles at Wuxian's shoulder, anxious about the strangers crowding around. "Kiss me some more."
It's going to be a ten minute trip once they get started, after all, and Huaisang has already discovered that the elevator gives him anxiety.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
After Xue Yang's delightful network post
But he needs to be here for his friend, and after Xue Yang all but outed him on the network--or, at least, brought the situation to a point where Huaisang felt that he needed to interfere for all their sakes--he's obligated to offer a certain amount of honesty.
So he turns up at his friend's apartment, trying not to grimace too much at the overall situation. "I'll contract you, Wei-xiong. This is awful." This wasn't the topic at hand, but Huaisang's encountered higher priorities along the way. "Do you even have alcohol?" Please have alcohol. He wants alcohol.
action;
His last bedroom was a cave, after all.
The apartment isn't the cleanest, but it's also not a mess. Wuxian has an apartment to himself for now, if only because no roommate has been assigned to him as of yet. The bed that such a person would occupy currently holds trinkets Wuxian has picked up from the market -- a lot of them claim to have magical powers. While he knows most are scams, he doesn't yet know enough about this world to assume none of them have promise.
"And I do have alcohol."
Turning around, he reaches beside the bed and pulls out a bottle.
"Ahhh... I usually just drink from the bottle, but we can still share."
They'd kissed, after all. Too late for modesty now.
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Sitting on the end of the bed, Huaisang pouts up at his friend. "Wei-xiong, he was the first person I encountered in this place. I didn't know anyone else was here. I was so frightened. Of him, of this place."
He drinks again. Hugs the bottle to his chest. "He persuaded me to go back to his apartment. I knew it was stupid. I berated myself the whole way there. But I was lonely and he is... very handsome."
A shy, sweet smile appears on Huaisang's lips. "He was so gentle with me, Wei-xiong. He was sweet and generous. I started off terrified." He shakes his head and shudders. "I haven't forgotten what we saw in that courtyard. I know... I know I didn't see the worst of it. The rest of you protected me from it. I can only imagine."
Offering the bottle, Huaisang sucks nervously on his lower lip. "I know how dangerous he is. But yes, I will vouch for him, at least on this point. When he wants to be, he is a very generous lover."
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Wuxian pouts slightly. Xue Yang isn't the worst looking person in the world (not at all), but that's beside the point. He's a murderer.
Inhaling, his hands reach out to rest on either side of Huaisang's arms, looking him seriously in the eyes.
"You're not alone anymore. You have me and Lan here, now. You don't have to be with somebody who scares you."
He tries a smile, hoping it will help. His friend doesn't need to be pressured into sex.
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He's embarrassed because he thought this conversation would go differently--he's not sure how he expected it to go--and now he's not sure how to explain himself or what he wants. Keeping his eyes shyly lowered, he plays with the strands of hair that fall beside his face. "I want to see him again. He made me feel... special. Precious."
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What can he do? It's not as if he can make it stop, no matter how worried he might be about his friends. Huaisang knows Xue Yang is a mass murderer, and he's made the choice anyway.
Crossing his arms, Wuxian blows at a strand of hair hanging near his face.
"Even if he's dangerous?"
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Huaisang knows his friend. He knows how honorable and kind he can be, but he also knows how self-involved and harshly logical he can be. Most of the ridiculous reports Huaisang rejects out of hand. Others, he hesitates over. Some, he believes to be true.
"You're dangerous, but you're also loyal. I trust you. Sometimes..." Huaisang sighs and wrinkles his nose, finally looking up at his friend. "Sometimes I've gotta make friends with two of the scariest people in the cultivation world, I guess. I'll let him know that if he hurts me, the Yiling Patriarch is coming for him."
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Does Huaisang really see them as the same? Wuxian has been able to shake off most of the negative opinions, even if he doesn't particularly like them. That said, to know his friend, once one of his closest, compared him to a man Wuxian finds to be without morals ((which is the only side Wuxian has ever seen)) is a shock.
He points to himself.
"Me? What did I scare you?"
wrote out a real answer and then huaisang was like OR we could never confront anything ever
Shaking his head, he gives Wuxian a weak smile. "It's nothing, Wei-xiong," he says, voice shaky. "I don't know what I'm talking about. You get a little intimidating sometimes, that all. It's not the same."
He rises, eyes lowered as he takes a step toward the door. Maybe Wuxian will just let him leave and Huaisang can somehow manage to erase all of this.
<3
Wuxian considers Huaisang a kind person as well so he assumed Huaisang had understood why Wuxian had to go rogue, but if he really sees him like he sees Xue Yang, maybe he was wrong.
"If I didn't stand up to everyone else, they would have continued to hurt people who couldn't defend themselves. I only wanted to defend the people who deserved to be defended. I don't think you would have disagreed. You were never my enemy."
He doesn't believe Huaisang really changed his mind in that moment so much as he's wanting the topic to drop.
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Drawing out his fan, Huaisang clenches his hands around it. He will not meet Wuxian's eyes. "You... killed thousands of cultivators at Nightless City. And the Wens in the Sunshot Campaign. I heard that you tortured Wen Chao to death. And his girlfriend. They say that at Nightless City, a teenager shot an arrow at you and you caught it and killed him with it. I know there are reasons for all those things. It's still terrifying."
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He regrets it came to that. He regrets the Wens had to die, that they couldn't have just finished their life in peace. If he could have gone back, no matter how excited he'd been to see his nephew, he would have sent his love to his sister instead. It isn't his fault he'd been ambushed, but that doesn't change the outcome. He'd lost everybody, everything he'd loved.
The Sunshot Campaign had been a war. The most respected of Cultivators were there, fighting alongside him.
As for Wen Chao, while it's true he needed to die, it's also true that revenge had been a huge motivator. After seeing his sect attacked and having them die, after seeing the man he considered a brother suffering so much, after losing his own Golden Core so that his brother could live again, after being grabbed and tortured while they laughed at him, after being forced to survive in a place no one had survived, Wuxian hated them.
Even after that, he protected the Wen sect members that were innocent. Xue Yang spared no one.
"You say you know I have my reasons, but that it's still terrifying."
This had been his fear when they had first met in the room, that Huiasang not understand. Most of the world didn't, most of them tried to paint him as a monster. When he'd greeted him normally, Wuxian assumed his fear was without reason. Maybe that's why he's arguing now: it had felt good to have someone else understand.
"Do those reasons not matter?"
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Sniffling once, Huaisang takes a shaky breath, trying valiantly to hold back tears. "This isn't about the reasons. I'm in no place to offer judgement or forgiveness for either of you. Being able to torture someone to death for whatever reason, however valid, is terrifying. If I..." He swallows again. Shaking badly, he just goes ahead and drops to his knees where he's standing, because he feels like he's going to collapse. He still will not meet his friend's eyes. "If I..." He knows he can't say this without revealing at least some of his hand. Wuxian comes from earlier. He's only just begun solving the puzzle. Huaisang would prefer to let him solve it himself, sot hat Huaisang can stay hidden in the shadows, but this place has already forced Huaisang into greater boldness. He's not going to put great effort into protecting the very secrets he wants Wuxian to discover. "If I had my brother's murderer in a cell of the Nie dungeons... yes. I think I would torture him to death. Perhaps over the course of years. That terrifies me, too. To know myself capable of such a thing."
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That's why Lan Zhan's feelings mean so much. He alone seems to understand the heart that was behind it all.
But Huaisang still speaks with him. That's more than some. Wuxian will need to absorb the blow and accept things as they are. Huaisang is afraid of him. Probably, he won't always be. Also, even more probable, he's probably not scared of him more than he is scared of him. He'd come to his apartment today.
The same is true for Xue Yang, Wuxian supposes, but he'd come here to explain because he doesn't want that relationship to interfere with their friendship. It's not as if he couldn't have said it wasn't any of his business and shrugged him off. If anything, Huaisang has more power in this city. Even now, while saying he's terrified, he seems more terrified of Wuxian not understanding.
Wuxian doesn't understand. Even now, he doesn't see himself the same way he sees Xue Yang. That said, he isn't going to hate his friend for that choice. Huaisang isn't going to encourage the man to murder.
While not missing the comment about his brother, Wuxian doesn't think now is the time to explore that line of questioning. Instead, he smiles.
"It's okay, it's okay. Come on, stand up. We both might have things to pray about, but our ancestors wouldn't want to hear from us from here."
Shifting his hold, Wuxian puts an arm around Huaisang's shoulders to help him up.
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He still regrets the entire topic. For Huaisang, love and fear are not exclusive things, but he doesn't know how to explain that. He has never feared anyone more than Mingjue, especially as the leash on his brother's temper became more tenuous, but he has never loved anyone as fiercely.
His relationship with Wuxian is something else, something alike only to itself, and his relationship with Xue Yang also. It's too new for him to be certain of anything but that Xue Yang charmed him and showed him more than enough sweetness to ensure that Huaisang craved his company.
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Perhaps Yu Ziyuan counts in that he feared her, but he didn't hate her. However, he also knew she would hurt him given the chance. Not that he blames her for the whipping, but.
"What kind of decision would that be?"
Wuxian offers a pat on the back. He really didn't want to make Huasaing sad. Likewise, he knows his friend hadn't meant it as an attack when he admitted his fear. It's painful, but that hadn't been Huasaing's intention. That helps.
"I still question your taste in men, but I won't be angry as long as you don't let yourself be corrupted."
He won't. Wuxian believes in him which is why he's more worried for Huaisang than about Huaisang.
"Be sure to remind him that a mark or collar won't be enough to assure I get revenge if he does something wrong."
Submissive or no, rules are more like suggestions to Wuxian.
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Kissing his friend's cheek, he pulls away. "Are you allowed in the Up if you're escorted? I'll take you for drinks."
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Wuxian laughs. Things don't have to be perfect between them for things to be good.
"Mhm. That's when we're allowed up. They won't even let us on the elevators with that, even though I was very nice in how I asked."
And sometimes, just tried to sneak on.
"But since you are, we can go."
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They are here together, and it has been years since Huaisang has had the opportunity to have fun with his friend. He's not missing the opportunity now.
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When Huaisang begins to pull, Wuxian goes along, his teasing and singsong voice coming out with a hint of a laughter undertone. It sounds like a fun day.
Though, at the end, Wuxian stops, his smile dropping.
"Wait."
He urges Huaisang to face him, his smile trying to soften what he says because Wuxian worries it will be taken as a punishment instead of a sincere desire to see his friend make the best decision.
"I had a lot of fun when we kissed." That's very true. Huaisang is an unfairly skilled kisser. "But we probably shouldn't do it against until you see there's nothing in me that you should be afraid of."
Reaching out, he strokes a hand through Huaisang's long, silky hair. It's not that he doesn't want to kiss him, but it's dangerous if his friend keeps kissing men that scare him. Beyond that, there's a small bit of Wuxian that wonders if Huaisang would feel comfortable pulling away or saying no if he didn't want to kiss. While he likes to think it's obvious he won't force anything on anyone, he also thought it was obvious he was different than Xue Yang.
"I can't tell you not to kiss him, but I want your kisses with me to not hold any fear at all."
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"Wei-xiong," he murmurs, soft and teasing. "That's what I've been trying to say. I think you are a frightening and dangerous person, but I have never in my life been afraid of you. I trust you, and I don't believe you would ever hurt me, not even if you were very angry." Leaning in, Huaisang gives him a soft kiss. "I know he is also a frightening and dangerous person, and I was afraid of him at first because of that. I no longer fear him. If I quarrel with him or no longer wish to have a relationship with him, I'll be very careful, and I'll come to you for help if I feel afraid. But I do not think he will hurt me. I think he likes being sweet to people who are sweet to him. I feel safe with him."
Hugging his arms around Wuxian's neck, Huaisang presses close. "And I feel even safer with my best friend."
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Despite his words, there's a fondness in his voice. Maybe he doesn't understand completely, but it's good to know a man he considers a friend doesn't actually fear him.
Bending lower, Wuxian plants a quick kiss on Huaisang's lips. It's a bit fun to tease his friend.
"For putting me through so much, it's only fair if you buy the very good alcohol."
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Letting go, Huaisang takes his hand again, weaving their fingers together as he heads for the door. His grip is tight. He's a little bit worried that Wuxian might pull away. He's already lost his friend once, and their conversation has left him a little bit rattled because he's worried that he's displeased Wuxian. "Any requests for where we go? We'll find a nice place in the Up. I haven't really found any good wine shops yet, though I did find a liquor store that sells liquor in glass bottles, the finest glass you've ever seen and thick as your thumb, in all different shapes and colors, and yet it's all cheap. It's just the cost of the liquor, and there are so many different kinds, we're going to have to try all of them."
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"Have you been to a bar? It's a modern tavern. You can buy all a lot of different kinds of alcohol all in one place. I bet the bars in the up are even better."
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It's going to be a ten minute trip once they get started, after all, and Huaisang has already discovered that the elevator gives him anxiety.
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